Phases Part 2

As I was ranting about before we all go through phases. One not so eventful night I was reflecting on my life and the phases I've gone through, physically and personality wise. Then I started thinking about things in my life that I thought was going to be a phase but have ended up being things that have molded who I am today. Like I said before high school was for sure the most life changing part of my life as of yet but it goes beyond that all the way up to present date I'm still shaping and figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life. But as I thought about all of this I realized how much 2008-2009 effected me. For example it was summer of 2008 that I got my first wedding magazine.

It was actually from 2004 which is why it was free but I got it at Down East and it opened a whole new world for me. I thought that it was fun and I scowered through those pictures thousands of times. I carried it with me to school to church kept notes in it it was my favorite book at the time. I have always loved weddings but this was so different than anything I had ever looked at. I remember there was a book it was a martha stewart weddings book from the library that I use to check out all the time but with these books it was just something that I thought but I had no idea that years later I would have stacks of wedding magazines at the side of my bed be subscribed to all my favorite sites and be working toward a carrier wedding planning. I could go on for DAYS talking about weddings but I'll spare you and just share one of my planning boards.

 

As I said this is just on of the many but there are so many details here that have come to be so important to me things that I love and want to incorporate so badly at my own wedding.  Wedding just fill me up with joy all the details and love that are shared mean so much to me and it's something that I realized I just wouldn't be who I am if all of my phone conversations with friends didn't at some point involve the latest thing I found in the world of weddings. 

It was that same year that a huge thing came into my life and that is photography. For years I had been telling people someday I was going to be an interior decorator. That year I took my first interior design class...and I hated it. I was only 15 and I felt crushed I felt like my life had no direction and I had no idea what I was going to do. On a spring afternoon I went out with my siblings and took my moms digital camera and started taking pictures of just about everything and when I went back and looked through them I was shocked to see this. 

if it wasn't for this day I would have never even thought to continue photography I would never have dreamed that I would have my own website and portfolio that I am incredibly proud of. I was just blowing off steam and it ended up changing my life.

The last thing that I want to talk about is music. Music is by far the most effective and influential thing in our world I believe. Everyone has their own personal taste and style in music and if effects and shapes who we are. I had never really had my own style I never had really had a band or a type that I considered "Emily music" I just listened to everything. We were driving to my moms friends wedding and I was going to help with the photography and I was incredibly nervous my dad told me that one thing that would help me was music to listen to something that I really liked and get myself psyched we were already in the car and I had no idea what to listen to I really didn't care one way or the other because mostly all I listened to was Muscials anyway. He pulled out a CD his friend had burnt for him and told me it wasn't really his style but he thought that I might really like it. 

Needless to say it changed me. A few weeks later my parents separated and everything fell apart. It was this album and my friends that held me together. I realized that what I felt when I listened to this music style whatever it is alternative, indie, techno, whatever you want to call it but it made me feel better as a person it made me want to go out and do something with my life and I loved how it made me feel and I never want to give up that feeling. Later Lara made me realize I'd been listening to this CD for years and had never realized it thanks to her. It became our thing blasting it in my car windows down overcome by beautiful lyrics and joy with life and it has become a staple in my life and helped introduce me to what I am proud to call my music.

So tell me now, I want to know about what small things that have changed your life that at the time you thought were just going to be a phase and ended up shaping who you are? And most of all know I love you.

Phases Part 1

Phase:

- a stage in a process of change or development: Each phase of life brings its own joys.

We all go through phases, some more often then others. I find myself going through alot sometimes they last for a few hours and sometimes they last for years. Sometimes I think it's sad how quickly I move from thing to thing but then I think about who I would be if I didn't. If I wasn't constantly changing and finding new things to love what would my life be like? I don't like the thought of it at all we all have to change and grow otherwise our society would collapse.

Now if you don't mind terribly I'm going to go on a rant about some things in my life that I thought were going to be phases and ended up shaping who I am today. From 2008 to summer of 2010 aka high school were without a doubt the most life changing years of my life. Sophomore year was so awkward and so confusing but isn't it always? I did find Sweeney Todd that year and I went out and did something I'd always wanted to which was dye my hair with a bright blond streak styled after Stacy London and Sweeney Todd.

I loved that hair so much I thought I was so cool and edgy haha. I think hair is the easiest thing to talk about with me as far as phases go I'm still going through a hair phase and I hope I never have to give up on it. Before I get into some more deep thoughts let me go on about my fab hair for a second. I don't know why but I've always wanted to do this, just go through and look at the different phases my poor hair has gone through over the years. As I already stated the streak was the start of it all, different but not to wild.

(fun fact this is the first picture of me Eric ever saw ;)

After that I went back and forth between black and brown but nothing to exciting.
Then came senior winter formal and I decided a change was in order so I rocked black bangs and a short brown Aline in the back and I loved it!
But sadly as hair always does it faded and went back to it's normal chestnut brown and just in time for graduation too.
At that point I had to start acting like an adult and so I kept it normal...well as normal as I can keep my hair.
At that point my hair decided to be awesome and go through a huge growth spurt which I will never complain about!
And now this is where it gets interesting. I've always loved YouTube like abnormally so but it was about this point that I really started to get obsessed. I love makeup tutorials and watch them constantly to inspire myself to try new things with my face and other peoples and to learn new techniques so my friends think I'm cool and original ;) but one night I happened upon this girls channel. Her name is Leda and let me tell you I adore her!
I only wish I knew about her when I was in high school because I guarantee I would have been different or at least my hair would have. I still feel weird talking about her because she's just a 17 year old girl that I kind of know everything about which is creep I know but let me explain. She introduced me to the world of scene I had always known about emo kids but scene was a whole new world to me full of huge colored hair and kandi and thick eyeliner and dubstep and raves and oh man was I in love. After watching Leda's videos and learning how to make kandi I was inspired and decided it was time to stop wishing I could dye my hair fun colors and just do it!
So I did!
Welcome to the days of the purple hair. Oh I loved this hair so much. Except the fact
that it bled allover the place and stained my cloths and bathtub but no big deal it all worked out in the end. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and my hair began to fade.Which left me with this interesting purple pink and brown thing goin on. Well anyway Eric was coming to see me and he was upset that he didn't get to see me with purple hair so me and and my amazing stylist Anita decided to redo the purple. Unfortunately it didn't go as planned.
And I ended up with red. Which actually is fine because for years I had tried to get red hair and then after I stopped trying I got it! And I kept it that way for quite some time all the way through until the night of Morgans wedding reception and then enough was enough!
So bam welcome teal! This was fabulous it was the first time I dyed my hair by myself and it succeeded. Minus the huge parts in the back where there wasn't any dye at all because I could not see what I was doing. But again it faded and it wasn't the prettiest sight in the world as a matter of fact it was nasty but I figured I already had blue tones in my hair so I might as well.
Tada! Blue, again not even coverage but what can I say I'm cheap and don't enjoy spending a ton of money I don't have for a job that I usually can do better myself anyway. But this time I did something right because there is still blue in my hair. This is like the color that won't go out! Granted I love it and I miss it all the time it's a color I think I'll go back to quite often. But when it faded I ended up just looking like I had grey hair, which isn't a bad thing because I've always wanted white hair.
It still wasn't the most attractive thing in the world though. Luckily at this point I began to enter a new phase of trends that I love. This time they were called hipsters! But don't you worry I still wouldn't give up on my scene it was just a simple way of marrying the two in a very Emily fashion. So before we left for Disney I worked up a new plan...
And this was not part of it! But it happened anyway and I'm so glad it did. For the first time my thoughts and speech actually matched the color of my hair! In all seriousness I loved being a blond it's another color I plan on going back to for a while.
But like I said the blue was persistent and wouldn't go away, however I liked it so I kept it for a while. Then just before we left I tried again.

Again not 100% what I wanted for a few days I actually hated my hair...like with a passion. But I grew to love it and then I grew to get incredibly attached to it and now I miss it.
However when this faded it decided to turn green...which was not awesome but actually super gross. This was due to the fact that I was on vacation and therefore not thinking so I went swimming..alot..which I shouldn't have done. But what's done is done and this brings me to the end of my overly lengthy tale.
Welcome once again purple and brown hair. I think it's what I need right now it's not perfect and I want to change it but I need to be an adult and try to get a job which means another normal dye is in order but for now I'll keep my lower layers of purple. Someday if my dreams come true and I get a job where I can dye my hair more I'm thinking that this is looking really tempting.
Honestly at this point who knows! If I have the money it might be rainbow. We'll see what the future holds for my poor damaged hair when it happens.
I'm sorry I just went on for a thousand years about my hair I really didn't mean to but whats done is done and I really need sleep so later I will give you a part 2 with more serious topics. Until then try and have the best time of your life and enjoy your hair no matter what color it is!
Good night loves!

Change of Scenery

*(Bare with me I haven't really decided how I want to put pictures in this post so there just going to be thrown in here by the time that I took them along with the story.)*

If you didn't already know I've moved. I've moved to Vermont, and I've been here for almost 2 months now. I keep meaning to blog, or to vlog, or post on facebook. But to be honest I had the hardest time even unpacking my suite case. It took me almost a month I think. My mentality was that if I didn't unpack I wouldn't really be living here it would just be vacation and I couldn't accept that it was real, that in a few weeks I wasn't going to pick up big mama (my suite case) and get back on that plane and go home. But there were those words starring at me on that ticket...one way.

To explain the whole story I really should start at the beginning about before I moved. My days before moving where very bitter sweet. I saw as many friends as I possibly could. I if I remember correctly I saw everyone at least once before I left.

(note: theses are Leigh's legs on the 5th of November, her pants were cool..so photo)

And I spent alot of time crying while cuddling in bed with my dog, luckily he was a good sport about it.


That last week was the hardest. I was so stretched for time and I had way to much to do and not enough time to do it. But that last night was the worst. Of course being me I didn't pack until literally the last minuet. When it's just a trip to cali oh no big deal if I pack morning of, but 6 months of your life is a little different. But instead of getting up that morning and starting to put things together I got my jacket and I left to play with friends. I don't even remember what time I started packing but I don't think it was any time before 12am. But I would trade those memories for anything.


Being kidnapped by my friends and going to ihop



Going bowling, even though I really didn't want to but ended up having fun anyway as usual. And the really really gross shoes.


Running into my sweet cousin at the ally. It was about this point it was almost 10 and Eric texted me to ask if I was packed yet and I just sent him the two pictures above and said "nope". It was also about then I decided I really should pack. Though instead I ended up at Sugarhouse Coffee. We dropped of Matais and then headed to my homestead for a long cold goodbye outside with two of the most amazingly beautiful girls I know. (as the picture shows)




Eventually Anita did have part ways with us. And so it was just me and my Lucy. But did I pack...nope.




I think it's better/ easier if i don't explain these.



And then yes, yes I did pack.

But true to form while I packed and had mild to strong panic attacks. Lucy kept me entertained while she...busied herself?




Finally exhausted I couldn't think what else to do so I called it good. Lucy bless her soul shoved every last thing into my monstrous case and sat ontop of it and pulled and grunted until we got it closed. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there. So we crawled into bed. I spent a good hour choking back tears and thanking God for my friends before I finally found sleep. A few hours later my alarm went off and it was time. Sleepily we gathered together and pushed everything into the back of the car. Before we left however I did remove, my bandana, belt, and something else from Lucy's body and then let her take my shirt she was wearing. We then dealt with the impossible challenge that is the airport. figuring out where to take my bag moving form place to place back and forth before finally finding someone who could help. I'm not even going to tell you how much is cost me to send my bag but it was worth it. And my amazing mother picked up the tab for me. We parted ways rather quickly which is just as well I'm really bad at saying goodbye. And I ran to my gate just in time. And that was that. There were no delays, I sat next to a sweet older couple who had just gotten married the day before and were off to their honeymoon. She helped me keep my head on straight and breathe until I got to New York and it was one of the best flight's I've ever had.


And now I'm here. Like I said it was so hard at first. I pretty much spent everyday in bed unwilling to move, I didn't eat very much and the only person I really talked to was Eric and my family with the occasional text from friends. Facebook was like torment but I couldn't tear myself away from it. It was my link to my old life. I was so homesick but refused to admit it refused to unpack, refuse to show that I cried every time I hung up with my mom. But it was pretty much the same as what I was doing back in Utah.


Spending most everyday in bed.





Except now it's with more then one dog.




And the scenery is quit a bit different here. But I really love it.







But for whatever reason around thanksgiving I woke up one day and said enough is enough I want to go do something. So like any normal person I decided I wanted to go to a graveyard.

I've fallen in love with the graveyards out here. It was one of the fist things that struck me when I was first visiting here. Mainly because there all standing graveyards and I'm a sucker for standing graveyards. But it was a turning point for me I started socializing with the family more, I started making friends and going to see people because I wanted to. (it's silly I know but it was a big step)

Thanksgiving came and I baked. It made me so happy to wake up that day and go downstairs to help cook for thanksgiving and then enjoy a holliday with people I cared for. And then I unpacked I put everything away we vacuumed and hung Christmas lights and I made the space my own. I finally gave up clinging to wanting to go home and decided to be at home here. It was so freeing to see everything spotless and mine. I started going on outing with Eric's family calling his parents mom and dad and finally feeling like I belonged and that I really could be happy here.




Eric bought us a little Christmas tree and we set it up in my room ready to enjoyed our first Christmas actually being together. It's been on of the best Christmases to date. Eric's sister his mother and I all wore matching pajamas and we were graced with a little snow Christmas morning.

Santa got me everything I wanted and more, much more. So many people sent me care packages and cards and made me miss you all but it made me feel so loved. Skype has become my best friend as well as my new iphone 4 ;o anything to see my friends sweet faces again.
I still can't wait to go home but for the time being I'm happy. And that's the important thing. So until we meet again I'll continue to:



Wander through graveyards,




Enjoy the morning sun,



Find things that remind me of home,



Dye my hair different colors,



Think of you,

And fall in love.

I love all of you so much and you'll be seeing more of me I swear. Happy Holidays!
Emily H. L. Pihl