not a through street: 2011

*(Bare with me I haven't really decided how I want to put pictures in this post so there just going to be thrown in here by the time that I took them along with the story.)*

If you didn't already know I've moved. I've moved to Vermont, and I've been here for almost 2 months now. I keep meaning to blog, or to vlog, or post on facebook. But to be honest I had the hardest time even unpacking my suite case. It took me almost a month I think. My mentality was that if I didn't unpack I wouldn't really be living here it would just be vacation and I couldn't accept that it was real, that in a few weeks I wasn't going to pick up big mama (my suite case) and get back on that plane and go home. But there were those words starring at me on that ticket...one way.

To explain the whole story I really should start at the beginning about before I moved. My days before moving where very bitter sweet. I saw as many friends as I possibly could. I if I remember correctly I saw everyone at least once before I left.

(note: theses are Leigh's legs on the 5th of November, her pants were cool..so photo)

And I spent alot of time crying while cuddling in bed with my dog, luckily he was a good sport about it.

That last week was the hardest. I was so stretched for time and I had way to much to do and not enough time to do it. But that last night was the worst. Of course being me I didn't pack until literally the last minuet. When it's just a trip to cali oh no big deal if I pack morning of, but 6 months of your life is a little different. But instead of getting up that morning and starting to put things together I got my jacket and I left to play with friends. I don't even remember what time I started packing but I don't think it was any time before 12am. But I would trade those memories for anything.

Being kidnapped by my friends and going to ihop

Going bowling, even though I really didn't want to but ended up having fun anyway as usual. And the really really gross shoes.

Running into my sweet cousin at the ally. It was about this point it was almost 10 and Eric texted me to ask if I was packed yet and I just sent him the two pictures above and said "nope". It was also about then I decided I really should pack. Though instead I ended up at Sugarhouse Coffee. We dropped of Matais and then headed to my homestead for a long cold goodbye outside with two of the most amazingly beautiful girls I know. (as the picture shows)

Eventually Anita did have part ways with us. And so it was just me and my Lucy. But did I pack...nope.

I think it's better/ easier if i don't explain these.

And then yes, yes I did pack.

But true to form while I packed and had mild to strong panic attacks. Lucy kept me entertained while she...busied herself?

Finally exhausted I couldn't think what else to do so I called it good. Lucy bless her soul shoved every last thing into my monstrous case and sat ontop of it and pulled and grunted until we got it closed. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there. So we crawled into bed. I spent a good hour choking back tears and thanking God for my friends before I finally found sleep. A few hours later my alarm went off and it was time. Sleepily we gathered together and pushed everything into the back of the car. Before we left however I did remove, my bandana, belt, and something else from Lucy's body and then let her take my shirt she was wearing. We then dealt with the impossible challenge that is the airport. figuring out where to take my bag moving form place to place back and forth before finally finding someone who could help. I'm not even going to tell you how much is cost me to send my bag but it was worth it. And my amazing mother picked up the tab for me. We parted ways rather quickly which is just as well I'm really bad at saying goodbye. And I ran to my gate just in time. And that was that. There were no delays, I sat next to a sweet older couple who had just gotten married the day before and were off to their honeymoon. She helped me keep my head on straight and breathe until I got to New York and it was one of the best flight's I've ever had.

And now I'm here. Like I said it was so hard at first. I pretty much spent everyday in bed unwilling to move, I didn't eat very much and the only person I really talked to was Eric and my family with the occasional text from friends. Facebook was like torment but I couldn't tear myself away from it. It was my link to my old life. I was so homesick but refused to admit it refused to unpack, refuse to show that I cried every time I hung up with my mom. But it was pretty much the same as what I was doing back in Utah.

Spending most everyday in bed.

Except now it's with more then one dog.

And the scenery is quit a bit different here. But I really love it.

But for whatever reason around thanksgiving I woke up one day and said enough is enough I want to go do something. So like any normal person I decided I wanted to go to a graveyard.

I've fallen in love with the graveyards out here. It was one of the fist things that struck me when I was first visiting here. Mainly because there all standing graveyards and I'm a sucker for standing graveyards. But it was a turning point for me I started socializing with the family more, I started making friends and going to see people because I wanted to. (it's silly I know but it was a big step)

Thanksgiving came and I baked. It made me so happy to wake up that day and go downstairs to help cook for thanksgiving and then enjoy a holliday with people I cared for. And then I unpacked I put everything away we vacuumed and hung Christmas lights and I made the space my own. I finally gave up clinging to wanting to go home and decided to be at home here. It was so freeing to see everything spotless and mine. I started going on outing with Eric's family calling his parents mom and dad and finally feeling like I belonged and that I really could be happy here.

Eric bought us a little Christmas tree and we set it up in my room ready to enjoyed our first Christmas actually being together. It's been on of the best Christmases to date. Eric's sister his mother and I all wore matching pajamas and we were graced with a little snow Christmas morning.

Santa got me everything I wanted and more, much more. So many people sent me care packages and cards and made me miss you all but it made me feel so loved. Skype has become my best friend as well as my new iphone 4 ;o anything to see my friends sweet faces again.
I still can't wait to go home but for the time being I'm happy. And that's the important thing. So until we meet again I'll continue to: